Sunday, May 31, 2020

Eagle Pass Biographies Revisited

by Blackjack Mulligan
As told to the Mid-Atlantic Gateway

Editor's Note: The Eagle Pass Biographies take a humorous look at those legendary west Texas characters from the fertile mind and imagination of Blackjack Mulligan. All of these names appeared in his TV promos back in the 1970s and 1980s. Part fact, part fiction. True lies and alibis.

Originally published on the old Gateway site back in 2006, we republished them here in 2015.  Make sure to see Part 1 & 2 as well as these crazy characters in Part 3.

Part One: Uncle Reba Joe and Sara Jo Puckett (2015)
Part Two: Spider Grip and Sheriff Slim Gabriel (2015)

P A R T  T H R E E
Scrap Iron Adams was kind of broad in the shoulders and narrow at the hip. You didn't give no lip to Scrap Iron. Born one morning it was pouring rain; one arm like steel and the other like a chain. Don't give any lip to Scrap Iron! Nobody knew where he came from, and nobody asked! My lifelong friend!

Puss Daniels was our boss when Scrap Iron and I branded cattle during the summers as teenagers at the Double Cross Ranch near San Angelo. Puss was a very evil man and very hard to work for and we were continually pulling antics on Puss just to drive him nuts. Like throwing live rounds of ammunition in the campfire and hollerin' "Run Puss, Run!"

I believe ol' Puss is still alive. Passed by a bar when we were home and saw a tag on an old truck that said "I LUV PUSS". I assumed it was him, although others have made the same claim!

Luther Daniels was a tough ol' buzzard. A meeting with Luther out back usually meant a bottle, and I don't mean sharing one, I mean one up side your head. Luther was Puss Daniels' daddy.

My Uncle Jed was politically connected in Kimball County, and had a ranch just east of Junction, Texas. Jed was a handsome man which obfuscated his very ruthless tendencies! He and Uncle Reba Joe were brothers and were at odds with each other all their lives. It all started over a woman they both wanted to date when they worked clearing timber near Tyler, TX one summer when they were teenagers. Jed ran for Sheriff once, and Reba Joe came down and sabotaged the whole campaign with stories of Jed's drinking! But the truth is Jed runs that county, and is the wealthiest man in the Mulligan family. Organizes poker night at the family reunions!

Everybody has someone in their family they try to hide, but in the early 1980s, I got Luke out of the Terrell Mental Institution and brought him to TV with me and he helped me conduct some business! Luke has since been locked back up for many years. We would bring him out for family reunions, but he became so violent we had to discontinue his visits altogether.

Luke loved popcorn, carried bags of it with him everywhere. Became a real distraction!

"Skinny" Pace was one of the young bucks on Puss Daniels' crew. Funny as heck and loved to eat. He later went on to build the Pace food company that makes Picante salsa dip and chips! He was followed by heirs that I am quite sure wouldn't be able to hang with the gang!

 Originally published in 2006 and republished November 8, 2015 on  the Mid-Atlantic Gateway.

The Eagle Pass Biographies were passed along from B.J. Windham to Dick Bourne in emails and phone conversations in October and November of 2006. 
Originally posted on the Mid-Atlantic Gateway in 2006.

Copyright  © Robert Windham and The Mid-Atlantic Gateway